Sometimes life becomes so familiar, so mundane that we are not aware we have lost a sense of joy. In divorce, we are sitting in a pit of despair, pain, heartache, grief and loss. Joy feels like a concept completely out of reach. Sometimes we might accuse God of not healing your marriage, or maybe you suffered abuse and the pain washed away your joy
Whatever the reason, God wants to restore your joy. Maybe you didn’t lose it due to sin, like in King David is Psalm 51. Divorce is not a sin, but it can be the pit we fall into when walking through a divorce. So, let’s talk about where joy comes from and the difference between happiness and joy.
Happiness is momentary. It is fleeting and circumstantial.
For Instance:
- When we win tickets to our favorite music artist.
- When we get a promotion.
- When we hear a friend is expecting a baby.
The Word tells us to “Count it all joy when we encounter various trials.” Divorce is more than a trial…it is a sandstorm. Too many people search for the momentary “thing” that will bring that spark; but that isn’t joy! What we found is a moment of happiness and, thanks to outside influences, we have learned to equate those feelings with joy, when in fact, it was just happiness.
In Psalm 51:12, David writes: Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And uphold me by Your generous Spirit. David is not asking God to restore his salvation…he is asking for the JOY of God’s salvation – the moment he first encountered His presence.
And then – and this is key – he said “make me obedient.”
Ouch.
Did I lose you yet? Some reading this might call obedience a “joy killer.”
Maybe you walked out of your marriage and into a sinful lifestyle or a cycle of sinful behavior. This is common when we are in pain because we are searching to feel life and happiness after what is a painful season. If this is the case, could this be what stole your joy? Because when you are in the continual presence of God, you don’t decide to step into sin or put yourself in positions where you are tempted.
David stayed behind from battle and that behavior ushered him into sin with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11). Perhaps life and purpose became common and boring to David, so he stayed behind during a time of war. This put him on the path of temptation that would forever change the course of his history.
So, where does our joy come from?
Let’s look at Psalm 16:11 in the NKJV:
11 You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
So, if you understand that JOY truly is because of the presence of God, you don’t need to search for it elsewhere. Because joy is contentment in ALL things. Even in a divorce? Yes.
I’m not saying you won’t be in pain, grief, heartache, etc. But if your joy is anchored in the presence of God, then even in the sandstorm of divorce, there will be an undercurrent of joy and contentment. Will you be bouncing around and dancing all the time? Maybe not…but I encourage you to try it. I encourage you to put on praise music and dance around in the presence of the Lord. This is where your well of joy is!
Isaiah 12:2-6
Behold, God is my salvation,
I will trust and not be afraid;
‘For Yah, the Lord, is my strength and song;
He also has become my salvation.’ ”
3 Therefore with joy you will draw water
From the wells of salvation.
4 And in that day you will say:
“Praise the Lord, call upon His name;
Declare His deeds among the peoples,
Make mention that His name is exalted.
5 Sing to the Lord,
For He has done excellent things;
This is known in all the earth.
6 Cry out and shout, O inhabitant of Zion,
For great is the Holy One of Israel in your midst!”
Has the presence of God become common to you? Are you looking for your joy somewhere other than in God’s presence? While you were married, were you hoping your joy was in your marriage or with your spouse? Maybe that was a continuing factor in your discontentment in your marriage?
I do not ask these questions to bring shame; hear my heart, friend. I ask these of you because I asked this of myself. We have to ask ourselves these hard questions if we want to rise and reclaim our joy even while walking a divorce season.
While praying for you, I asked the Lord if He had a word of encouragement for you. This is what He said:
My child, every tear you have sown in your pain will reap with joy. I know you struggle to see or feel joy as tears stain your cheeks and pillow at night. My heart is for you, beloved. I know it seems the pain is louder than My hope and promises. But know this, if you dig in and walk this journey with me by your side, you will see cracks of joy in the road ahead of you.
As you walk hand-in-hand with me as your guide – not with the world, not with distractions – but hand-in-hand with me, you will have Divine appointments with joy and peace. Some days it may seem you are digging through the soil looking for seeds of joy; that isn’t where you will find it.
In my presence is where you will find your fullness of joy. With me as your dance partner, we will dance your way into joy, one step at a time. Be encouraged, dear one, I see you. I know you.
I love you.
Jesus