Hi Everyone!
With the holidays quickly approaching, I wanted to check in and talk about some survival skills. For those of us navigating life after divorce, the holidays—especially the first one or two—can be downright painful. It’s a season traditionally filled with family, togetherness, and continuity, but now it might feel more like uncertainty, loneliness, and heartache.
But there is hope. One thing that helped my children and me was the power of creating new memories and fresh traditions. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but change can also be incredibly healing. I tossed a few questions out on social media, and the responses were heartwarming, filled with amazing ideas and inspiration. Let’s unpack them and see if any spark joy (I feel a Marie Kondo moment coming on) or even inspire you to create your own unique traditions.
One of my favorite new traditions was volunteering with my children at a homeless shelter. It’s incredible how putting others first helps put your own situation into perspective. Witnessing others’ strength in the face of adversity brought us closer and reminded us to be grateful. Plus, it gave my children a sense of purpose and compassion during a season that can sometimes feel too focused on receiving.
As my children got older, I handed over one holiday dish to them. Watching them work side by side in the kitchen filled me with joy—and relief! They learned a new skill, and I got to enjoy seeing their confidence grow. Change it up every year, and by the time they’re on their own, they’ll have the confidence to host their own holiday meals. Who knows? Maybe they’ll invite you over!
Another tradition we started was new pajamas on Christmas Eve. Opening them together became a sweet family moment, followed by snapping fun holiday photos. My daughter loved it so much that she’s now carrying on this tradition with her own family. We also made it a ritual to drive around and see neighborhood Christmas light displays. Make it extra special and Include hot cocoa and cookies in the car. It became our little escape into holiday magic, and those simple drives turned into treasured memories.
Here are a few more great ideas from social media:
- Take a holiday road trip – Sometimes, a change of scenery can be refreshing.
- Decorate your home differently – The dollar store offers affordable and creative options.
- Create personalized ornaments – A fun, bonding activity that leaves you with lasting keepsakes.
- Attend a charity-focused event – Helping others can be deeply rewarding during this season.
- Give kids personalized ornaments – Choose ones that reflect their interests each year. When they move out, they’ll have a collection for their own tree.
- Buy new decorations – Even a small change can refresh your holiday spirit.
- Use an advent calendar – It adds excitement and a sense of anticipation.
- Host a gingerbread house competition – Make it fun and competitive!
- Elf on the Shelf – If your kids enjoy it, it can become a playful tradition.
- Plan a game night – Laughter is healing, and a family game night can bring that in spades.
As painful and hard as this time may be, it can also be the beginning of something beautiful. A bridge to new memories, new experiences, and eventually, new joy. I’m reminded of Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope.”
Divorce doesn’t change God’s plans for us. You have a future and a hope, even when it’s hard to see. And remember, you’re not alone. If you need extra encouragement or prayer, please reach out to me at dana@redeemed-identity.com.
With love and hope,
Dana